It's been a while

So, It has been quite some time since i have last blogged on here. It has been weird to go back and read all that i wrote while i was away, in the midst of everything that i was experiencing... how strange it is that life can change so quickly.

I went from the highest point of my life, living in South Africa for 5 weeks, to be chucked back into the "real world" where i am now at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville... and nothing here is the same.
I have spent the last 4 months trying to figure out why i was here and how i could get back to Africa, and frustratingly i still have no idea.
It is hard when the one place you want to be the most, talk about the most, and undoubtedly think about the most, is a place that very few people can relate to. As a result, i have found myself suppressing these longings in order to fully invest and relate to the news lives i am now surrounded by on a daily basis.
But.. i can't help but wonder, is this where i am really supposed to be? What does God really want me to be doing with my life? There has to be a reason that is feel so discontent.... i know there is more than this!

I recently learned of a girl names Katie Davis, an incredible, awe inspiring, young woman, only two years older than me, that has been living in Uganda, teaching over a hundred kids, and literally mothering several children. She will be returning in January and as hard as i try not be, i am unbelievably envious.
I am so moved by what she is doing, and my mind is completely blown by what God is doing in her life and how He is using her in the lives people here and in Africa. I cannot express how happy i am for this young woman, to be serving the Lord in such a way... but sinfully, it makes my stomach sick with jealousy. I hate that i feel this way, but i do not know how to keep these feelings from rising.

As a result, i wonder... is God going to be using me like this as well? Are these feelings of envy coming from the root of the fact that this is truly where i want to be... that that is what i want to be doing?
I think, in all honesty, the answer is yes. My heart looonngs for this so badly. I believe that God has a wonderful plan for me, that He will direct me here when the time is right... He will not forget about me or leave me hanging. I full faith in this. I pray that the Lord will provide me with the patience to wait on Him- to wait on His timing- but to never let this longing die. I pray that i will keep the truth of what's most important flowing through me... the truth of who God is and the reality of His might power. Our God is Mighy to Save!! And He is good.

I realize that i am only a simple, naive, almost 19 year old girl-- that alone, i am completely and utterly weak-- but the Lord has me, His mighty hand makes me strong, and it is only through Him that any good-- if i ever do any good-- come from.
God is Good. God is Good.

A Thrilling Weekend!

So I have been keeping a secret... and i apologize for that, but i figured if i told you (mainly my parents and other parents)what it was that you would freak out or something... 

curious? ok, i'll tell you. :)

I went SHARK CAGE DIVING!!!! yes, me, Amy Manuel who is so scared of sharks!

i don't know what has gotten into me while we have been over, but i have turned into somewhat of daredevil... well, maybe just more carefree and adventurous. 

But oh my gosh it was SOO cool!!! no, it was incredible!! They were Great White sharks- In other words, they were huge!- and they swam right up by the cage, bumped into it, and gosh they were magnificent!

i have no idea how i was not freaked out... but i'm so glad i did it!

There is a downside though-

I got veerry seasick. I will save you all the gruesome details, but i think you get the picture. The workers on the boat said i was just helping chum the sharks in. ha! wish i could have laughed about it then. 

Margaret got sick as well... she was the first to throw up- so technically she chummed the sharks in. haha. What an adventure that was for the both of us. :) 

BUT we are all alive and well and SOO glad we did it! 

It's definitely a once in a lifetime opportunity. 

OH! almost forgot, we also saw three whales! They were Southern Right Whales, and they were so awesome! (and freaky... whales freak me out for some reason. haha)

Other than that, 

last night all of the ACTS leaders and the volunteers went out for a "good-bye dinner".

it was so sad... but good- bittersweet would be a better word for it. It made me (and i know everyone else) feel very loved, and it affirmed not only the work we did here, but the strength of the relationships we built here. I am so blessed, and praise God that i was given this incredible opportunity! 

We are about to head out for lunch- the original 9 (our family) decided to all get together for lunch and take it to the beach for our good-byes. 

I hate good-byes... so pray that i hold up well. 

I love you all. THANK YOU for your prayers! i can not express how very much it means to me. 

i will see you very soon... i can't believe it... but it's true. 

So this time i'll end with saying, see ya soon! :)

till then!

part two

I apologize for so abruptly ending the last blog, but i will continue from where i left off. 

After a wonderful weekend, we began one of the hardest weeks of my life, emotionally... yet one of the best. I don't even know how to explain it, but it's a crazy mixture of emotions!

But, Monday was pretty normal- Muizenburg (to work at Living Grace) and then back to Mountain View for Kidz clubs. 

Then Tuesday came the tedious tasks...

We have been building a shelter for the kids in Red Hill (one of the townships) so that the kids would have a place to play when it rained. 

I thought it would be an easy task... well... lets just say: we had 3 shovels, a pick ax, and a half broken rake. So we had to use just those things to completely clear out and level a piece of land that was previously just a trash dumb. (We found an old mattress underground as we were digging!)... but thankfully, by the third day we received more help and more tools, so that was nice. :)

But that afternoon, at kidz clubs, i had to begin telling all the kids that i was leaving this upcoming Tuesday. 

Gosh.. that was one of the hardest things i have done in a long time. i have become so close to these kids and i don't even know how to begin to explain how hard that situation was... it breaks my heart to leave them, more than they will ever know. They have made me feel so loved and i pray that i have made them feel the same. 

Wednesday: 

It was my last day of working in Red Hill, and we got SO much accomplished! We had more help than usual, because halfway through working a group of college students (from Georgia), that work with Campus Outreach, came and joined in on our efforts. They were a great group of people, and (a little fact to show how small this world actually is) one of the girls on the team is actually really close to jamie dorris (my d-group leader) and she read at her wedding- which margaret, sam, and i were honorary bridesmaids for!! how crazy is that?! 

Needless to say, we had a very successful day!

Wednesday afternoon:

There was absolutely no way to prepare for this part of my day. It was my last day, and it was one of the saddest and most humbling days of my life. 

It was hygiene day- basically they decided to start doing hygiene days once a month to help encourage the kids to stay clean and give them an opportunity to get clean. So we had stations set up for washing hair, brushing teeth, cutting nail, etc. 

I was planning on just walking around, taking pictures, and talking to all the kids for the last time... but then one of the life-skill educators asked me if i would be willing to wash the kids feet. 

As soon as he said those words my mind immediately went to the Passover where Jesus washed the disciples feet. And i know i'm not Jesus or anything, ha, but i couldn't help but try and put myself in His shoes as i went about this task. 

I honestly never really fully understood the big deal about Him doing that. I mean, i knew that it was technically a job for the servants and that their feet must have been nasty, but i could never really picture it... until now. Here i was, having to scrub the feet of children who run around barefoot, all day, in the dirt... some one them had sores and cuts, all of them had grime under their toe nails, and it was honestly just... well, gross. i have no idea where their feet had been.. and well i think you get the picture. 

So, in a nutshell, that was just a really humbling experience for me, because it not only allowed me to be servant to these kids, but gave me a more enlightened perspective on the servant hearted task Jesus carried out. 

After this was the goodbyes... and honestly, i can't really talk about those because it makes me feel sick. I already hate goodbyes, but this was awful. These kids opened up to me and loved me and let me love them, and now i am just up and leaving them... and they don't really understand why. but i need to move on before i get upset again. 

so, Thursday:

This truly was an unbelievable day! My spirits were so lifted from the sadness of the day before... and i'll tell you why. :)

Margaret and I were asked two weeks before if we would cook lunch at Living Grace this thursday for all the homeless. We said yes, not knowing at all what we would cook, but having faith that somehow we would pull it together... and we did! We made a stew- a really good one might i add :)- that served over 85 people! (the most people they have ever had come!) They all seemed to really enjoy it and i felt so blessed that i got the opportunity to do something like that. It was an awesome experience! 

But, the day didn't stop here. In fact, it got even better. The shelter- the one in Red Hill- was completely finished that morning while margaret and i were cooking, and so we were to have a celebration party that afternoon/night. So, we all went up there after lunch and it was incredible! The shelter was seriously beautiful... especially compared to how the land looked before we touched it, and by evening it was crowded with kids, teens, adults, and all those who helped build it. It was a blast! We danced and sang and painted faces and the whole place was seriously booming with joy! I will continue to praise the Lord for His goodness, and for blessing each and every person there with the fullness of joy and grateful hearts. 

And Friday- today:

My official last day of working... it pains me to write those words. I don't know how it could possibly be over! It has been a great day as well- worked in Muizenburg- but again, i had to say those dreaded goodbyes. I will miss every person that has walked into that shelter, but will miss those i worked alongside the most. They taught me so much about Cape Town and the culture, but most of all about loving people. Loving those that are hard to love and even those whose ways you don't approve of... everyone needs love and deserves love, and so despite of who they are and how they live i will love them... because if Christ can love disgusting, cheating, perverted sinners like us (it's harsh but true), then i can love them, because i am no better... even if they have wronged me- no matter how hard it may be. 

ok... sorrry, i will get of my soap box now. ha. 

But i have to run because we are about to have a brye (a.k.a. BBQ) that Mike and Mike are throwing for our team! 

I will see you soon! gosh i can't believe it has gone by this fast.. 

i love you all! :)

amy

SOOO much to tell!!!

I am going to have to write this spread out over a few posts because otherwise it would be insanely long... all my dates are confused right now anyways so it might not make too much of a difference. :)

ok.. where to begin... from what i can remember, last week was a normal week- kidz clubs, muzenburg, capri, etc. but the weekend was absolutely wonderful!! 

I honestly can't remember what we did on friday... i'm sure it will come back to me later, but saturday we got to go to a South African (springbok) vs. Italy rugby game! it was really really cool! we were about 5-7 rows from the field and had an amazing time! 

The downside: it rained.. the whooole time! Fortunately, that made the game a lot more interesting and made for some funny stories. But we were completely drenched! That really is only fun for about ten minutes... then you're just miserable. ha!

however, if you do decide to go sit out in the rain for a few hours, i do not advise wearing jeans. 

1. because they take about 10 years to dry. 

2. They get really heavy causing you to have to waddle around when you walk

3. They stretch out... so then you get to hold your pants up, while you waddle,all while basking in the ever so comfortable wetness of your pants and bum. 

so there you have it. :)

OH! almost forgot, last thursday we went to Mike and Pam's flat for dinner. They made chili and brownies, which made me feel right at home! it was such a fun night!! well... until we played Mafia... (it's a game... if you don't know it, don't worry about it) basically... i now officially hate the game. i have never ever played a more frustrating game of Mafia in my life!! tragic.. i know. ;) other than this little factor though, everything was great!

but back to the weekend: on Sunday, we had a beautiful day! in fact, days like this hardly ever happen in Cape Town during the winter. So, we decided to go to Cape Point and Cape of Good Hope (the southe western most point of Africa), and oh my goodness... i can't even begin to describe how spectacular it was! I got to hike up to the top lookout point, and it was B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L!! we climbed over the rock wall at the top and went out the very edge (we prob. weren't supposed to do that, hence the wall, but we got to see an amazing view by doing so. in fact, the water was a color i have never seen before in person- like a deep blue/green- it was stunning! the funniest part of it all though, was over at The Cape of Good Hope. The waves here a HUGE! i laugh every time i think about being at the beach back home thinking the waves were huge... they seriously hold nothing to these. But, the waves were coming in high and crashing up on the rocks... it truly was incredible to watch. But, jess decides she is going to go over and stand on one of the rocks that is getting slammed with waves. She claimed she could dart away from them, but as she tried to escape a giant on she lost balance and got completely consumed/ drenched by the wave! it was definitely the highlight of all of our day.

OK- i am literally falling in and out sleep as i write this, so, i think it would be a good breaking point for now. I will finish the rest with a blog tomorrow. get excited! ;D

goodnight all!

much love!

amy 

just in case you were wondering

The last couple days have been internet free... would have been a cool thing had we just decided not to use it for a few days, but instead we used all of it up. 

confused? 

i'll explain:

In South Africa, you have to buy things in "bundles". For instance, you don't just pay electric bills, internet bills, cell phone bills etc. you buy a certain amount of electricity, internet and cell phone minutes and use it till it runs out. 

So- we have a certain amount of broadband per month, and well... we used it up. :/ whoops!

as much as that was a pain, i think it was actually a good thing. we were able to spend time together and just focus on our surroundings and being in communion with one another. It was great while it lasted.. for now we are all sitting beside each other- typing away to catch up on all we missed the past couple days. haha. 

so, just in case you were wondering, that's what's been up. 

as far as the actual "important stuff" goes- i will have to blog about that later for now, i am out of time. 

therefore, be looking forward to all the news of the past couple days... there's a lot! :)

thanks for all your prayers! love you all!

a laid back weekend

This weekend, contrary to the others, has been very relaxing and laid back. Friday night went rented Hot Fuzz... i can't say that i recommend it. It's out of the ordinary for sure, but i think you have to be in the mood for that kind of humor (British humor, which i generally enjoy) to enjoy it. Saturday we watched a rugby game and then went to see a movie that night. So really... this weekend was based on relaxing and watching movies it seems. which is kind of nice.. but then at the same time feels like a huge waste considering where we are. But i guess we all needed the rest..

anyways, 

today was chill as well, but we had a GREAT start. We decided (the family) to trick Mike Talley, our volunteer coordinator, that there was a problem at the house and we needed him to come over this morning before church.

Well, we freaked him out a little more than we meant to, (whoops) and he was over, with his wife Pam, (who was also in on our surprise)bright and early! so, he came in to an empty living room, extremely on edge, and about five seconds into it, we whipped out from hiding in the kitchen- with jeff on guitar- and started singing a father's day song we had written. He was so shocked! and the smile on his face was priceless!

So, we had a surprise Father's Day breakfast for Mike- because we couldn't celebrate with our own dads and his kids aren't here- and it was perfect! 

We then went to church... which i'm sad to say i think i slept through more than half of. :/ i tried so hard but i couldn't keep my eyes open! Then the rest of the day we just laid around the house and called our dad's. 

exciting weekend, i know! :)

Today was the first day that i actually got a little bit homesick though... i guess being away for Father's Day got to me.

It struck me as i was talking to my dad how blessed I am. That i have a father who is devoted to his family, didn't leave us, is faithful to his wife, cares and provides for his children, and loves us unconditionally... the exact opposite of the roles I have seen fathers play in South Africa. I praise God for the amazing father and family He has given me- i truly couldn't ask for more. 

on a lighter note: i realized today that there was a story i never told you about that happened in our room. So here it goes:

We discovered recently that ants here are attracted to heat.. whether because it's winter or not, i don't know, but regardless, they keep heading inside. So, we have had a few issues already, anna's heater got attacked by them, Jeff's computer as well... they all swarmed out of his key board!! and then there was the incident of the converter. 

Well, Margaret kept getting all these bites all over her and no of us could figure out what they were from. We kept joking around telling her she had scabies. haha. yes we are nice like that. :)

Well, someone, i can't remember who, came and asked if they could borrow our converter. Well, margaret's is broken and so she was using mine.. which was plugged in over by her bed... So she reaches down to grab it, pulls it up, and begins shrieking! i of course think it's a spider- and with my phobia of them- begin shrieking as well. So all the guys run in and margaret throws the converter down on the ground and as soon as it hits ants literally explode out of the sides of the converter!! they were EVERYWHERE!!! so we grabbed loads of bug spray- spraying and screaming- and jeff grabbed the camera to film this epic event. so half a bottle of bug spray and sore throats later, we threw the converter outside and haven't touched it since. ha! I wish i could show you all the video. It is beyond priceless! 

well i love you all!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!

amy

a new experience

Hello all!

I hope you are all well and enjoying a wonderfully hot summer back home!

I wish i could say the same for myself. ha! In all honesty it's not too bad... but it's not anything close to hot. I think i wore five layers on wed. because it was so chilly. It's not like Nashville's cold, but.. well i don't even know how to explain it.. maybe it's the wind, i don't really know, but it gets you at the core. 

Needless to say, on wednesday, it was not only chilly enough to have to wear five layers, but i opened my door that morning to discover a monsoon pouring down right in front of my eyes. So, we all decided to make a run for it, and needless to say, we were soaked! haha, i'm laughing just thinking about how funny and intense it was. 

AND it really does rain sideways! it's crazy! we all jumped in the car and died laughing because our rain jackets hardly did anything. haha. 

Other than that, the day was wonderful and i had a really great experience with a group of teen girls who are really starting to be open with me and i am so excited about that! They are wonderful girls and so are all the other kids i work with at Mountain View. i am SO blessed! 

Then came Thursday. And, oh my gosh, i can't even begin to tell you how great of a day it was! i know i just sounded like the epitome of a teenage girl, but i don't know how else to begin to express my excitement.

A piece of background real quick:

On Thurs. there are no Kids Clubs, so i didn't have to be in Mountain View. because of this i had to find some other place that i would like to help out on Thurs. in place of that. 

i decided that i would work at Living Grace- a branch off of Living Hope that works with the homeless in Muzenburg.

So, on Thurs. Margaret and i went to Muzenburg and had a ball! We went in and had morning devotions with all the people (they have to do morning devotions and worship in order to get food), and then we began our work. The first part was separating out all the rotten stuff from about ten giant sized crates of fruits and vegetables... and okay, that part was actually quite disgusting.. in fact, i'm pretty sure i have never ever seen fruits and vegetables look the way some of these did. :/ blah!

but, after we separated all those, we had to wash all that was good, peel it, and cut it up. It was a long task but completely worth it. It was during this time that we met some incredible people. They were homeless, but oh gosh they had incredible attitudes! i laughed and cried (a result of the onions :) ) and made some great new friends. How inspiring is it have people, in conditions like they are, come in and lift my spirits and speak truth into my life! I don't even think i'm doing a good job of explaining/ expressing this, but it was truly humbling.

We were also able to serve them all lunch that day- they come back in for more devotions and worship- and it is so unbelievable to watch the way they worship the Lord... i just don't understand why they have to go through this... such incredible people with such incredible faith, and here they are... on the side of the streets. It just doesn't make sense. 

 

Needless to say, Margaret and i will be going back every Thurs. :)

Oh! and in two weeks they asked the two of us to come and prepare the lunch for everyone. of course we were like, "yeah of course! We would love to!" then we found out we have to come up with a recipe. haha.. that should be interesting. so, if you have any great ideas of something easy and good to make in large quantities, please let us know. preferably a soup, we figured that would be easiest. 

oh, i almost forgot, we also helped making cards with this guy named craig. What a blessing! He is in a wheelchair and so he stays at Living Grace and makes greeting cards that they sell through there. But he is so sweet and i am happy that he allowed us to help him in his craft.  

anyways, i have to run, but i hope you all have wonderful weekends! i think we are headed to Cape Point tomorrow so that should be fun! i will let you know how it goes. 

If you don't mind, please continue praying for all the refugees and their safety, and also pray that i will not freak out about the fact that i only have two weeks left because i am already starting to worry about it.. i really don't want to leave. (not to mention i have not taken NEARLY enough pictures! i have been so scared to whip my camera out in public because it draws so much attention.) 

Well, i love you all! keep me posted on your lives and things going on back home. i love hearing about all that!

talk to you soon,

Ames

A lot of change

It has been about four days since i last wrote and i can't even begin to explain how much has changed. i will try and remember everything we have done... although none of it will probably be in the right order. 

Well, this weekend we were able to go see the penguins. i can't say i thought they were all that fascinating... they smelled bad and didn't do anything... as a result i tried to make one of them do something- i would not advise trying my course of actions, which was: irritate the penguins and see if they do anything- well i'll tell you, they do.. and it involves pecking your feet. haha. it was only one, and i probably deserved it, but i jumped back so fast i didn't really feel it anyways, but it made for a good moment. 

I also don't advise trying making friends with the badgers, that live the penguins, by naming them pookie. My badger didn't seem to enjoy that... or pictures.. and well he gave me the death glare and we all though he would attack me. haha.. it was reaally funny!

after this we went to one of the cutest restaurants i think i have ever seen! (we were in the touristy part of the Cape) with great food! (even better, everything here is actually really cheap, so that's nice)

After this we had "family time" and watching "The Bourne Identity" such a good movie! and well... i think it was actually friday night that we played Mafia, but it was SO much fun! (as usual. :) )

well the next day (Sunday) we went to church and then afterwards headed to Green Market.. the only place in the Cape (that we have found) that actually barters and sells african type merch. i only got a few things, but i'm hoping i can go back so i try and get things for you guys back home! :)

THEN

(yes, this is a very big moment)

we climbed LION'S HEAD! :)

but really, it was an accomplishment. only a few of us made it to the top (because we were legit climbing rocks- hands and feet climbing) with wind speeds strong enough to literally blow me off the mountain.. i seriously had to crouch down and hold onto rocks at points because i was being blown towards the edge! 

but, i must brag for a moment and tell you that i made it to the top about five minutes before anyone else and i actually began to worry that they weren't coming and i would be by myself.. but they finally showed and we had an amazing experience up there! i can't even begin to tell you how much i felt the presence of God up there. It's INCREDIBLE! in fact, i got so caught up in it that i was practically hanging off the edge, anna kept being like, "Amy, you're freaking me out!" but it was definitely worth it! :)

So, the weekend was great, but then came the hard stuff...

This week we were supposed to continue working in the refugee camps, but we are no longer allowed in them. 

Basically, the refugees in the camps asked for two things, and one of them was that the government send in the UN (United Nations) and instead they sent in a red-cross rep. and because they lied the refugees decided to "revolt" so to speak. 

So, the Somalians rose up and took control of the camps and banned all volunteers and all food from coming in. This still makes me want to cry because now all the kids who we were growing so close with will be slowing starving to death and we can do nothing about it. There have been reports of a mass suicide attempt yesterday, but it was never confirmed whether or not anyone died. (they tried to drown themselves in the ocean)But it is just so heart breaking and it makes me so angry, because the more hungry and cold they get, the more violent everything will become and there is nothing i can do about it... except pray. And as powerful as i know that is, it still leaves me feeling helpless and hopeless. 

As a result, all my original assignments were changed and i am now doing a lot of work that i never planned on doing... some of it manual labor. I guess i shouldn't complain, but it's hard not being able to work with people as i was supposed to before. I still get to do kids clubs, but it is disheartening to have my teen support groups taken away. 

Nevertheless, i know God has some sort of amazing plan for me in all this, even if i can't see it, i just have to be patient. 

Please just pray that i will be able to trust God throughout all of these things more... because as you can see it is very hard right now. 

Thank you all for continually supporting and praying for us here. We are more than appreciative. 

I love you all!!

(if i think of more i will add it when i next blog)

a day with the family

Today was such a great day. 

We all went to the refugee camps again, and they went SO great! at least for me anyways. This was something i have been praying about as well, and i think finally i just had enough energy and strength to go around and involve myself with the kids like i had longed to. 

So after that we had the rest of the day off!

We came back, had lunch, and then a super long meeting to map out the rest of our weeks here- which naturally, like the rest of south africa, is still indefinite, but i am completely cool with that. :)

Well, we then went to and internet cafe where my bag was almost stolen but Dyson was incredible and saved it for me! (Thank you Dyson!!) and we then, after shopping at the Pick and Pay (like a grocery store) we headed back to the B&B (Bed and Breakfast) for dinner, and THEN we got to have family time! 

AHH!! sooo much fun! haha. 

So, Kirsty (aka Mother Hen), Sam, Margaret, and I all made brownies, with fresh cut chocolate shavings in them, chocolate chip cookies, chocolate chop muffins, and... i think that's it (we were on a chocolate high it seems. ha!) and we all had a dance party while were doing it... and a dance party while we cleaned, etc. it was a blast! 

we then all sat around and played games like mafia and just really enjoyed bonding with one another... i will never forget about this... it was filled with such priceless moments. 

Oh! and i forgot to mention that today was like mid-high 60's and sunny! i actually fell asleep outside it was so wonderful, and that does not happen. 

So, the Lord really blessed this day- as He always does- and provided for us beyond measure. It was glorious. :) 

Tomorrow we have the day off, as well as sunday, and we are going to see the penguins and who knows what else, but margaret is quite ecstatic. :)

But i'm sure i will have a lot to write about afterwards. So, until then! 

Ames

a dazed two days

I wish i had blogged yesterday, because i don't even think i could recap half as well all that happened. 

ok... let me see... it started out normal, early morning, devotion, and then headed to the refugee camps, but then we had the afternoon off because there were no kids clubs... well.. that's when it all started. 

(please take note of my sarcastic humor within this- for hearing me say it and reading it might come across completely different. :) )

so, i was already not feeling very well, but decided that i would go running with jeff and jess- because clearly that's the best thing to do when you are not feeling well. Now, they told me that there was a giant hill in the beginning, but i was like "yeah, ok, i'll be fine" So, we began our ascent... it was pretty easy, and we now laugh as we recall me asking, "wait... so, this is the hill??" well, lets just say that what looked like the top of the hill, was only the beginning. (keep in mind i'm a pretty decent runner. Not like matt, but i can run a few miles just fine) so, we turned the corner, and i set my eyes on what i now call hell hill. 

the truth is, the hill, on a normal day probably wouldn't have been that bad, but we realized that it was dumb that i went running because: i was still jet-lagged, dehydrated, and not feeling well. 

so, i began having a hard time breathing, and was like "oh my gosh i couldn't be this out shape, right?" but then i began feeling dizzy and lightheaded, and thought "hmm... yeah... i don't normally feel like this when i run" But being my wise self i decided "i'm just gonna push through, i'll be fine" well... we got to the main road and i litrally (British accent) thought i was going to pass out. so i told them because i figured, "hmm... it might be dangerous to pass out on the side of busy road on concrete while i'm running" so after all that, we got back, i got sick, and well i just gave you a lot of details for the story that i'm sure thrilled you as much as it did me. ha! but jess and i decided "if i could imagine what death would be like, that would be it" so, needless to say, i won't be running for awhile. :)

Regardless of my sickness though, we went to the beach, and oh my crazy beautiful, it was amazing! There were giant boulders lining the shore and high tide was coming up and the waves were crashing up on them and ahh!! it was soooo cool! plus we got to watch surfers! i mean, i don't know about you, but swimming into shark infested waters at high tide surfing towards giant boulders sounds like a heck of a lot of fun to me! ;)

But we spent the rest of the day relaxing and then Jeff and i got to go watch the season finale of LOST! i was so pumped! haha.

Well, today was quite different. I woke up feeling much worse and so they made me and anna (she was sick too) stay back and so we had to miss the refugee camps. I hated doing that because it makes me feel like such a baby/slacker not helping out and doing work... but i think it was probably the best thing because i needed rest. Because i was sick i didn't get to go to red hill for kids clubs and had to do all this work for the church in their library.. kind of disappointing, but i just have to remember that everything happens for a reason and God wanted me to stay back for some reason that i may not be able to see right now.

tonight was a blast though! silvia, the woman who owns our lodgings, had to take one of her workers to the doctor and was not able to make us dinner. So jess, kirsty, and i got to make fish and chips! it was hilarious and so much fun. but the best was having a dance party while we cleaned up. we just all have SUCH a blast together! 

The night was ended with an incredible bible study of sorts by this girl named joe who is from zimbabwe/ england. She is an incredible woman and she left me with lots to think about and really encouraged me in all this, especially with staying focused on God. (Gal. 1:10) 

Well, i think i am going to start trying to write less, because i know it is time consuming for y'all to read all that i write. so... my next attempt will be for me to write about half of this... let's see if i can do it. ha! keep me accountable!

Thanks for reading. :)

amy

the past two days

So i am currently sitting in my room waiting, for our dinner to be ready, and all i can think about is all the kids i have encountered the past two days. 

Yesterday, we went to the refugee camps for the first time. Our job has been to play with the kids, sounds pretty simple right? i thought so too... 

i honestly had no idea what to expect, but there really is no way i could have. Anyways, we have been playing with the kids and they are all so wonderful. They truly are precious jewels of God- i have always known we all are, but seeing these kids... well that phrase just comes to life! Unfortunately, even with this, it has still been hard- constantly trying to break up fights, get them to listen, conjure up enough energy to keep up with their fast pace, ha!, etc. 

But it really wasn't until today that my heart truly went out to them... i know that may sound weird, but it was like yesterday i spent most of the time just wanting to love on the kids and selfishly get them to love me as well- at the same time being paranoid about all the men around... but today... today was different. 

I was sitting in a tent- it was raining so we couldn't play outside- and i was struggling to keep my eyes open, freezing cold, hungry, sick of kids selfishly fighting over toys, and all i could think about was how much i wanted to leave. I just kept thinking over and over again, "i can't wait till it's 12 so i can finally rest, eat, and get warm!" 

that's when it hit me! i recall thinking, "holy crap... I am SO selfish! here i am, so concerned with myself that i am not even thinking about how much these children need our love, affection, and attention. I get to leave, eat at a table with silverware, sleep in a comfortable bed... but they will still be here. This wet cold ground is where they sleep, these tarp tents with holes in them are their shelter, and these strangers are their 'roommates'." I began to feel sick at the reality of my selfish desires. 

Here i was, accusing these kids of being selfish, and i am no better than them in any way... in fact i am worse. These kids fight for toys and attention because they have none- we (all the kids i know back home) fight and scream for toys etc. not because we don't have them, but because we want more of them. we are always wanting more more more... as if one day we will be surprised and actually be fulfilled from all the materialistic desires we have. 

I'll be the first to admit that i am like this, i want new clothes, a car, a computer, camera, cell phone, etc. etc. and for some reason i think if i can just get all these things then i will be content- but there is always more, always something newer, brighter, more expensive. I wish i could say that i no longer will desire for these things after seeing all this, i hoped the same thing after going to Kenya last summer, but there is something about our culture... it just completely sucks you in, and i let it... satan is so good at we he does... i hate to admit it but he is, he gets all of us, tricks us... i wish i was not such a sucker for it. BUT, i'm praying, reeeaally praying that God will provide me with the strength and armor i need to battle these days ahead. I know He will, i just have to trust Him and accept the peace He is continually offering me. 

Well, i know this is getting long, but i want to let you know what the rest of my day looks like. After lunch we then head to kids clubs- we are all split up into different areas of Cape Town. Thankfully lunch seems to provide us with enough energy to jump back into the action. 

Margaret and I are in Ocean View, Sam and Jess in Mountain View, Dyson, Ana, and Jeff are at Red Hill, and Kirsty is in Masiphumelele. 

Margaret and i have had quite the experience in Ocean View. we are working with three specific life skill instructors- Melissa, Christopher, and Megan(Mee-gan)- and they are seriously wonderful people! they have taught us SO much about the kids and the culture of the coloreds/ africaans. (quick info: their are blacks, coloreds, and whites- the coloreds are all the ones that are not white or "full black". and africaans is one of the 11 languages spoke in South Africa) Anyways, the kids are wonderful! despite the fact that they are wild and there are at least 100 of them, they are such loving kids. Marge and i were graced yesterday with crayola marker tattoos that coated our arms. so funny! mine consisted of a dolphin, a very long extended version of the money symbol, the word door (spelled dor in capitol letters), a bunch of other sketches that had no significance, and then, my personal favorite, a square dog with wheels for legs! i am laughing now just thinking about it! they were so proud! haha. Today was wonderful with them as well. The girls are so precious! all wanting to be held and cuddled and play hand clapping games... and then there are the boys. :) They are wonderful as well, but boy do they flirt! i think my mouth has actually dropped a few times and i'm like, "aren't you 8??!" haha. but they are adorable. 

I hope i made it clear that i love all the children- the ones in the refugee camps and the ones at kids clubs- but the experience is just completely different for both of them. of course the circumstances are completely different... i can't imagine what it would be like to be taken away from your homes and placed in a camp surrounded so closely by people you don't even know... sleeping on hard ground with little to keep you warm... it is just all so different, and therefore the kids are different and it is harder, but i love them greatly. They are beautiful children of God and my life has been all the more enriched to be able to interact with all these people. I praise God for them. 

I apologize that these are so long, but i hope you can make it through them... i just have so much to say- i haven't even said it all. :) So, if you made it this far, thanks for reading! I'll write again soon. 

love, amy

a SPECTACULAR day!

We have been having a few complications with our internet... so my post from yesterday just went up... but aside from that, everything has been beyond wonderful!

We have only been here two days, but we are quickly learning about the culture and ways of life around Cape Town. I feel like i have known the other volunteers all my life. We are already all getting so close and they are truly wonderful, beautiful people- i couldn't be more blessed.

Ok, lets see.. today was, to say the least, spectacular!! Because we have the weekends off we have been able to do touristy things around the Cape. So, we started off the day going to church... and then we went to church again. The second service was in Masiphumulelle, at township (or a slum) and it was incredible! i had chills the entire time! They sang at the top of their lungs and danced around the church slapping their bibles as if they were drums- it was so moving. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but as a woman said today, i could understand their hearts, and that was truly remarkable. 

One of the women in the church made a statement saying, "This world is not ours, we are only refugees." refugees... i would have never associated this word with myself.. but as soon as she said it i wanted to cry. It made me realize the corruptness of this world... that we are simply waiting for salvation.. for someone to save us from all that we are running from. And for the first time.. i finally understood, on a small scale of course, what it's like to be a refugee. I wish there was a way for me to save them all, but i can't, i can only do as much as the Lord allows me to- no matter how big or small... if only he would allow me to save the world... 

This was only the beginning.. 

We later went to John and Avril's house- the leaders of Living Hope, for lunch and it is absolutely unbelievable.. and i mean, UNBELIEVABLE! it is right on the coast and has the most amazing view i have ever, ever seen in my life! Not to mention how incredibly sweet and amazing they are. 

We then left from there and went to table mountain. And oh my freakin gosh... guys.. i can not explain to you how beautiful it was. it was absolutely breathtaking!! I took a million pictures it feels like, but none of them do it justice. As i was up there- and this may sound completely cheesy- but i could feel the presence of God. As you look out over the city from one point, and then from the other walk to east and west and see both the indian and atlantic oceans... gosh, it was amazing! I know i have said that about almost everything, but it truly was! i was wanted to let the winds sweep me and envelop myself in the beauty around us.. and i have not even told you about the sky and the sunset... but i won't try to describe it because i would be useless.. nothing could explain to you how magnificent it was. 

Today was filled with so much freedom and so much laughter. i have not felt this full- physically and spiritually, ha! in a long time. The joy within is overflowing!

Tomorrow the real work begins. We are headed to a refugee camp. Filled with about 3000-4000, and 700 children, i have a feeling i may begin to feel overwhelmed... and there was an outbreak scabies in the camp.. so i pray that i won't get infected- as well as the rest of the time.

So please be praying for us tomorrow. We are all a little nervous and could definitely use your prayers. 

Love you all!

Amy

A first taste of my new home

Well... we have arrived. After a total of about 31 hours of travel.. including our 11 hour layover in Frankfurt, Germany- which was spent at the airport McDonalds... which contrary to America's, is very nice. They have specialty foods, the workers have their own designer jeans and shirt with the classic arch emblem on the butt of them, and they even "wait" your tables.. weird right?!- and though McDonalds was quite spectacular as we played cards for 8 hours... we could not have prepared ourselves for the journey ahead. As we boarded our next 12 hour flight, i made the wise decision to not take any sleep meds.. i do not advise this. i did sleep on my own, but not comfortably. Then, being woken up at 3 in morning for breakfast before we landed... whoever thought that was a good idea was insane, for our stomachs only got more confused, but finally.. we landed! 

We traveled to our lodging in heavy, and i mean heavy, fog.. to the point that i was praying there were no cliffs ahead... or a mountain, because we could not see 5 feet in front of us. We managed to stay calm... probably a result of our complete disorientation.:)

BUT, we made it safely, and entered into our new home for the next month... and may i just say that we are so blessed. The three girls, Margaret, Samantha, and I are in a room together, and are surrounded by seven AMAZING people- including Dyson of course! One of them is from England, her name is Kirsty- i told her that i would be teaching her a southern accent as i tried my best to adapt to a British one. ha! The others are Jeff, he is from Nashville as well and is an incredibly sweet guy. Then there is Jess, she is from Arkansas, but was raised in Ecuador, she is hilarious and Margaret and I will be getting to work with her in Capricorn while we are here. Then there is Ana, she is from North Carolina, and she is really funny as well and very sweet. (They all are! and we have felt so welcomed.)Lastly, there is Danielle, whom margaret and I met at a conference back home, but she is going to be here for a year!! She is also an incredible woman. we are the youngest, but everyone else staying here is 22 and under, with the exception of Danielle, so that is nice to all be pretty close in age. The two leaders who have taken care of us today, and are truly sweet and awesome women are Mandy and Jakes (Jenna-Kate)- they are so funny and have taken such good care of us! 

I have been having such an incredible time so far! my body is thoroughly confused on times and my stomach is as well, but we will adjust soon. Today was a pretty warm day.. but unfortunately it is cold night- cold in the mornings and at nights- but regardless, it is still BEAUTIFUL here! 

Well, i apologize for this extremely long message.. i could say SO much more, but i will let your eyes take a break from this glaring screen if you have continued to read this far.

Please continue to pray for us while we are here- God really had his hand over us on the way over and i know He will continue to watch over us for the rest of our time here. 

Thank you all for your support- i can't tell you how much it means to me/us. 

I will write again soon. 

love, amy

p.s. i will not be able to post any pictures on here, at least for a while, because... well long story, but i just can't if i want to have internet the rest of the month.. so i apologize, for it truly is beautiful here and i wish you all could see it. :( But no worries, you will soon!